When you’re depressed, you feel depleted – you don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything, let alone clean up your room. Along with this, another sign of depression is the inability to focus, which makes it hard for you to keep up with your day-to-day chores. When cleaning becomes less of a priority, a mess begins to accumulate, and the bigger it gets, the more stress and negative emotions it brings with it.
If you’ve been feeling down, here are six things you can try to start cleaning up again:
- Start with 5 minutes
Find an area to focus on and set a timer – this could be a pile of clothes on the floor, a cluttered coffee table or a kitchen counter than needs a good scrub. Do as much as you can, and once the five minutes is up, take a break. You can do this again in a few minutes, hours or even the next day.
- Clean everyday
You don’t have to clean the entire house or even a whole room – just do a little bit of cleaning everyday to get into the habit and avoid messes from building up. If you need some motivation, create a checklist, which will also help you stay organised. Slowly work your way through it during the week.
- Do the small things first
It’s normal to procrastinate when you have a big, daunting task to do, such as cleaning an entire room or house. Instead, break these tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks – for example, changing your bed sheets and organising your desk as a start to cleaning your room.
- Colour code it
If you don’t know where to start, a fun way can be to pick a colour and look for things in that colour that need to be put away, thrown away or cleaned. Take a break between each colour.
- Clean as you go
Even when you’re not feeling down, this takes discipline, but it is self-care! It protects your future self from having to struggle with cleaning an even bigger mess. Get into the habit of putting away, throwing away and washing things after using them.
- Ask for help
Don’t be afraid to ask your family members, roommates or partners for help when it comes to housework. Do let them know why you’re struggling with it. If you’re able to, hire someone to help clean up or talk to a therapist about your problems with staying on task.
The hardest part is starting, so be proud of yourself for doing as much as you can – even if it may seem small at first. Try your best to get things in order because when you’re depressed, a messy home can cause further stress and anxiety. Don’t forget to cut yourself some slack in the process!
Have you ever found yourself wondering why you keep attracting the wrong people? Are you the type who struggles to stay single or does the thought of commitment make you want to crack open a window for some air? These traits actually stem from your relationship attachment style.
Our attachment styles go way back to our first long-term relationship – the emotional bond we develop (or are deprived of) with our parents and caregivers. We’ve all been raised differently, depending on the attachment styles of those who raised us and the way they addressed our emotional needs. These early experiences of emotional relationships influence the way we view love and relate to others. It forms the attachment styles we carry into adulthood and express in both romantic and platonic relationships.
According to research based on John Bowlby’s attachment theory, there are four general relationship attachment styles:
Confident in their relationship and their partner, someone with a secure attachment style is not afraid to reciprocate love. They are trusting, trustworthy, and are able to communicate their feelings as a response instead of a reaction.
Those with an anxious attachment style are codependent, requiring constant attention and reassurance from their partners. They fear being alone and struggle with setting or respecting boundaries.
Individuals with an avoidant attachment style are independent and self-reliant, downplaying the importance of relationships. They are emotionally-distant and tend to isolate themselves during conflict.
A combination of anxious and avoidant, someone with a fearful attachment style craves intimacy but fears rejection. In turn, they send mixed signals by pushing their partners away while still wanting a connection.
Don’t feel bad about having an insecure attachment style – if it was caused by trauma, please remember that it is not your fault. By understanding your attachment style, or your partner’s, you’ll be able to start healing by actively changing the way you approach love and relationships. It’s not going to be easy, but a healthy attachment style can help you build more positive relationships with yourself and others.
2020 has been hard on us all. It’s forced us out of our comfort zones, feeling discomfort every time we leave the house. It’s had us stuck at home, some of us alone, giving us an unhealthy amount of time to dwell on our fearful thoughts.
With four months left of the year, there’s a sliver of hope we can’t help but to hold onto – that this is almost over and we’ll be able to celebrate the new year as survivors. But not all of us are feeling that optimistic.
The pandemic has affected us all in different ways. Some of us might still be struggling and that’s okay. Look around you – who might that be? It’s time to check in on your loved ones.
According to Jade Goh, the Director of Clinical Services at The Mind Faculty, the signs of depression include (but are not limited to):
- Withdrawing from friends and family
Have your friends been ghosting you? You might notice them making plans, cancelling and then making plans again – but when the time comes, they ignore your calls and texts.
- Zoning out and being unable to focus
What about when you’re with your friends – do any of them seem disconnected from the conversation? Like they’re physically there but mentally somewhere else.
- Loss of motivation
Has anyone been bailing on workouts or continuously calling in sick to work?
- They don’t enjoy doing the things they use to do
How about when you try cheering them up – did the usual work? Or were they not even in the mood for their favorite food and feel-good movie.
- Unable to control their emotions
Do you find your friends crying more easily? Anger is also a symptom of depression, so they might be snapping at their loved ones too.
- Feeling helpless or overwhelmed by daily tasks
This is the most common sign of depression – they’re unable to get out of bed and not because they slept late.
If any of these behaviors seem familiar to you, reach out to them! We’re all facing the same crisis and we can be more empathetic towards each other.
If you’re able to, help out a friend who might be struggling with their mental health. Even if they’re just having a bad day, there’s no harm in showing your support.
Let your loved ones know that you’re there for them during these challenging times. You can follow The Mind Faculty on Instagram for more professional advice and mental health support.