In China, 11.11 is recognised as ‘Singles’ Day’ – an unofficial holiday that honours being single with empowering events and celebrations. What started out as a university tradition, has now grown into the biggest shopping day in the world with exclusive discounts and offers for you to spoil yourself like it’s Valentine’s Day. All of these deals can act as a reminder that you can show yourself love – you don’t need anyone else to. But alas, we know how tough breakups can be, especially during a time where you’re either stuck together or left completely alone to recover – quarantine breakups have been harder to cope with.
If you’re recently single, here are three tips for reinvesting in yourself after a breakup:
- Choose yourself
It’s time to start prioritising yourself – move on to a healthier relationship with…yourself. If you find yourself wanting closure, it’s totally normal, but if you’re still hurting – those conversations won’t be that helpful, and may even make things harder. Focus on yourself instead and take this time to connect with your wants and needs. You would be there for a friend during a breakup, right? So show up for yourself! You have more energy now to give to yourself, as well as attention.
- Remember who you were
We are constantly changing, and being changed by everything and everyone around us. When getting into a relationship, your priorities will naturally shift along with your interests – less nights out at the club, more day trips to the grocery store. Remember who you were before your relationship – what were your goals, what did you enjoy doing. Rediscover what you liked to do and try out the things you’ve always wanted to.
- Focus on growth
Unlearn any bad habits you developed during the relationship. Did you find it difficult to set boundaries? Or maybe it affected your self-esteem. This is your chance to focus on yourself and your future. Start setting goals, they can be as small as repeating positive affirmations in front of the mirror everyday to securing a set amount of clients by the end of the month. Use your free time to join an online course, read, journal, workout, or listen to podcasts. Be hopeful for what the future holds, and start hyping yourself up!
Don’t be discouraged if you still find yourself having bad days – we all experience them. Healing is not linear. You’ll have good days, but it’s important to not ignore what you’ve lost and give yourself permission to grieve. When you’re properly healing, you don’t forget the pain but instead work with it to truly overcome it.