Do you beat yourself up when things don’t go according to plan? You may find yourself turning internally and judging yourself for not reaching your own expectations. If this sounds all too familiar, read on to see how you can start treating yourself with the kindness and compassion you deserve!
According to counseling experts, Dr. Kim & Dr. Hill, by showing ourselves kindness, the brain starts creating new “mentalities” and habit patterns that will transform our thoughts from seeing black and red to seeing joy and opportunities instead. Try these out:
- Talk to your inner child
You would only talk to a child with understanding and love, right? What if we told you there’s an inner child inside all of us and by extending the same love and forgiveness to that child, it would help you greatly. Never underestimate the power of positive self-talk!
- Give yourself some time and attention
Dedicate “me time” to yourself every day. It can be as short as 15 minutes, but in those 15 minutes, fill it with activities that bring you joy such as meditation, journaling, drawing, playing your favourite instrument, or just dancing and vibing to your favourite music. By doing this, you are proving to yourself that your needs are important too.
- Reframe your thinking
Rephrasing your thoughts and removing judgment from your actions will help cultivate self-compassion. We’re all human, it’s normal to make mistakes. Here are a couple of examples you can try the next time this happens:
|Negative Thought Pattern|
|New Thought Pattern|
|I feel like I didn’t do anything today. Why am I so lazy?|
|I’ve been feeling unmotivated recently. Let’s try to figure out why I’ve been feeling this way.|
|I made a mistake, why am I always messing up?||I made a mistake. It’s okay. I’ll keep going and be better next time.|
- Acknowledge your accomplishments
After doing something you’re proud of or achieving something, give yourself a moment to celebrate and praise yourself! It could be that you finally submitted an assignment or a proposal, finally went to the gym or even just making your bed in the morning. Compliment yourself and give yourself a high-ten! Thank yourself for completing the chore. Shifting your focus on the good won’t leave any room for the bad.
- Treat yourself
Forming and maintaining good habits can be draining, so treating yourself is actually necessary. When we reward ourself, we are more likely to feel cared for, contented, and empowered. This boosts our self-command, which helps us continue our healthy habits. According to the author, Gretchen Rubin, who studies happiness and good habits, giving yourself treats is “a Secret of Adulthood: If I give more to myself, I can ask more from myself. Self-regard isn’t selfish”.
And you don’t even have to spend much to feel like a million bucks – here’s how you can treat yourself without breaking the bank!
Apply these tools into your daily routine to develop your self-compassion muscle. Remember, we are all humans who are prone to make mistakes, but our mistakes don’t define who we are. You deserve all your kindness, love, and affection.
Payday reminds us that it was worth it – waking up early, dealing with clients, rushing to meet deadlines, getting stuck in rush hour traffic. It has us wanting to celebrate our hard work with an extravagant night out or escape the stress with a relaxing getaway.
There’s nothing wrong with the occasional splurge and enjoying an indulgence that costs more than we’re used to, but when it happens too often – it can be harmful for our financial health. Especially during a global pandemic, financial planning has become crucial to our wellbeing. It requires us to be more mindful of our spending to support our financial goals.
Like we’ve mentioned before, self-care doesn’t only mean adding expensive cosmetics to your cart or booking a massage at a 5-star hotel – you can get the same satisfaction from simpler things like cooking with your partner or going for a hike with your friends. There are many ways to treat yourself after a long month of work, here are a few that won’t bust your budget:
Instead of buying new clothes, put on an episode of Tidying Up With Marie Kondo and get inspired to clean out your closet. Find joy in decluttering the rest of your home – donating or recycling the items you’ve chosen to part with it. You’ll feel satisfied and fulfilled, and have a serene space to unwind in.
With the amount of beautiful islands we have in Malaysia, it is tempting to take a trip out to paradise – but with the rising cases of coronavirus (and this unpleasant weather), it might be better to put plane rides on pause and dedicate a day to unplug and go outdoors. Catch some rays down by the pool or go hiking with your friends, you can get in touch with nature closer to home.
Working out is an important part of self-care, but there are more affordable alternatives if you’re worried about breaking the bank. Get your heart rate up by going for a run around the neighbourhood or following one of the many free workout videos available online. Dancing in your bedroom also counts!
We always want to spoil our loved ones, but it’s the most simple moments that often become priceless memories. Switch it up by cooking your partner a romantic meal or having them join you in the kitchen as a sous-chef. If you want a change of scenery, pack a lunch basket and head out for a picnic where you two can get some fresh air together.
Learn more about financial wellness here.